i've definitely learned a lot in the last 3 months of motherhood. i've also learned that what is supposed to be 'normal' is far from it. its like i've entered an altered reality where everything you thought you knew about babies is nothing like what happens when it is your baby in your house with your husband and your family. i feel like a maverick- for breaking these stupid 'rules' that we have set up in american culture, when in fact i think i'm part of a silent majority. a few things i've learned along the way about sleeping:
dr. sears is the MAN. why? because i bought his the baby book instead of the american pediatrics one because of the cute baby butts on it. really. once i started reading, the scales fell off my eyes- my little baby was a person- and individual, who needed to be treated as such and nurtured in a way that felt right and good to my husband and i- who cares what the rest of the world/media/parents think. first 'rule' i broke was having our little one sleep in bed with us. i was a total judgemental bitch to my one friend who had her baby in her bed for his first year. she couldn't bring herself to train him to sleep in his room-it was too hard on her and she just let it go. i was like, omg i cant believe he's STILL in their bed!! shocked. SHOCKED that such a thing could still happen in our modern society. then i read about the benefits of it. well first, we bought a bassinet because our friends had one by their bed. step two was having one right next to ours- but i just felt like it was so easier just to have her with us. we do it the safe way- shes in our king-sized bed, on her own little wedge, with a mesh barrier thing keeping her from falling onto the floor. voila- happy parents (she loves to snuggle, we never wake up to crying) and happy baby- she's nice and warm and safe with us. she also knows that bedtime means sleepy time. when she wakes up to eat, shes strictly business- eating then going right back to sleep. who knows how long it will last, but to me, its one of the most wonderful things about her- snuggling up and listening to her sleep next to us, and seeing/hearing/feeling me as soon as she wakes.
i know its not for everyone, but it ended up being for me and my husband. crazy thing is that last friday i was talking to my sister- who did everything by the book (unlike me- I'm more casual about it) and found out that she had my niece in her bed for about the first year or more. i would never have thought that- well, i guess i never thought about it because i never knew it was an option. even my mother in law told me that she wanted to have her first baby in the bed with her, but got nixxed by my father in law. why? hes not a heavy sleeper, hes like my husband- awake all night. maybe it was that crazy societal pressure of being 'normal.'
another thing i've learned about myself is i have an incredible ability to adapt my sleeping pattern. i am amazed at how aware i am of my daughters presence while I'm sleeping. very few times has my husband woken me up because i was in a bad position with her (twice, actually). crazy considering once i am asleep i can sleep through most everything. i also enjoy sleeping. for like, 10-12 hours at a time. and somehow i can function with waking up one or two times a night for feeding my baby bird or if she coughs or sighs or whatever else she decides to do at night. and i don't even mind doing it! if you had woken me up in the middle of the night, pre-baby, i would have totally freaked out on you, possibly punched you (sorry, honey) or even throw you across the room (sorry, kitten).
so what are my sleeping plans for the future? who the f knows. what i do know is that i like our sleeping arrangement at the moment. we agree that this is what we both want and we are having a fun time snuggling with our little girl while she is so cute and tiny. but every baby is different- who am i to say that its right or wrong for anyone else? brings me to the point of my bliggity bloggin- do what makes you and baby happy and do it with love. screw any judgemental bitches who make you feel bad about it.
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