so youre not calling the psych ward to say im on my way back in, things arent as awful as my previous post made them out to be. why, you may ask?? because its march 1 and its sunny and daffodils are blooming!!! so onward and downward into the abyss of f words and the latest things going on in my life!
my daughter is obsessed with the disney princesses. obbbsesssedddd wtf. shes never even SEEN a princess movie (confession: cinderella is en route from amazon) yet shes is thoroughly memorized with anything that features those whores. it all started with the princess pull-ups that her grandmother bought and has steadly built up to a fever pitch with needing EVERYTHING princess. not just regular old princesses- DISNEY princesses. ugh shes not even three but the mouse got her already.
im still fat. the few pounds i lost found some friends and came back. so im saying fuck you to my fatness and am going to work out. for real this time. im so serious about it i bought the 'brazil butt-lift' from the makers of p90x. the commercial had me hooked the moment i saw my ass in all the before pictures and what my ass could be in all the after pictures. im going to be hot again, dammit.
i bought some satin pjs. in my continuing effort to feel sexy again i went to fredericks.com and found some super cute (and cheap! yay!) satin pajamas to sleep in. not sexy ones, but satin ones so i feel a bit more pretty. because waking up in the same sweatpants i went to bed in and then wearing them all day is sad beyond sad and im tired of it!!!!! when they arrive im putting them away where my excessive amount of spanx and shapers are stored. because when my ass is brazilalicious, i wont need them!!!
im going to cook healthy now. well ok mostly healthy. ive come to the conclusion that although chris would eat ground beef (and wont accept anything besides 80/20) every day for his entire life if i let him, im the one suffering from a case of the chubbies from it. so im going to take my brazillian butt lifting menu and start making shit from it. if chris is upset, oh well, he can go get mcdonalds because im sick of eating like a fat man. and im tired of feeling guilty that im setting a terrible example for k in terms of what is acceptable to eat.
farts. k thinks that farts, fart sounds, and saying fart is the funniest thing ever. which is natural being that i too think anything fart related is hilarious. i feel bad for her future teachers. haha
tails. k also has a new thing about having a tail. this would involve her running around naked after getting her diaper changed/or im attempting to get her dressed. she watched a little too much winnie the pooh at her grandparents because she says shes eyeore as she jams a baby wipe up her ass and runs around with her new "tail."
i have a prescription for vicodin!!! yay!!!! its almost out, which im beyond sad about, and ill probably stash a few for the next time im in need of a mini vacay for the brain. and no i didnt find the awesomest doctor ever who knows what i need to get me by... i was in the hospital last weekend for a ruptured ovarian cyst. that shit was painful. lets just say i just about jumped off the hospital bed during my pelvic exam. and i cant even think about the ultrasounds i had- they were even worse. oh lets just put this gigantic dildo shaped microphone where it hurts and jab it around!!!! its usually my idea of fun, but in this case it was far from it. i did have a good time being fucked up on the good shit dilaudin... weeee!!! still kinda sore though. overall i give the experience a b-. it would be a d for the pain, but the painkillers and massive amount of sleeping i did brought the grade up a bit.
pinterest. the bestest thing ever for me. i have found so many awesome toddler crafts and fun ideas, i cant keep track of them all. so far everything ive tried with k, she loves. so i highly recommend it. as for my insatiable urge to go shopping or win the lottery to buy everything i love, well theres where i need some professional help.
that is the latest in my wonderful world of all things foxy and toddler management. besides the last post about being incredibly frustrated on doing all the shit work in the house, overall i suppose things could always be worse.
No comments:
Post a Comment